Tuesday, March 07, 2006

oppositional defiant or three-year-old?

You decide:

1. A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:

  • often loses temper

  • often argues with adults

  • often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules

  • often deliberately annoys people

  • often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior

  • is often touchy or easily annoyed by others

  • is often angry and resentful

  • is often spiteful or vindictive
Note: Consider a criterion met only if the behavior occurs more frequently than is typically observed in individuals of comparable age and developmental level (particularly those of your friends, family, neighbors, or complete strangers at the mall observing you with disdain as you navigate your screaming and flailing child out of the scrutinous public eye).

2. The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning (the consequences of which include but are not limited to: getting beaten, sent to bed early, put in time out, removed from the table, removed from the room, removed from the premises, or removed from the family).

3. The behaviors do not occur exclusively during the course of a Psychotic or Mood Disorder (your own OR the child’s).

4. Criteria are not met for Conduct Disorder (kills dust bunnies, decapitates Barbies, steals Matchbox cars), and, if the individual is age 18 years or older, criteria are not met for Antisocial Personality Disorder (kills animals, decapitates classmates, steals cars).

Differential Diagnosis
Conduct Disorder; Mood Disorders; Psychotic Disorders; Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder; Mental Retardation; impaired language comprehension; typical feature of certain developmental stages. Also comorbid with Refusing To Eat Syndrome, Teasing the Sister Condition, Kicking and Screaming Fits, and Embarrassment of Parents in Public Disorder.

Your diagnosis?


Cynthia said...

Since I have no idea in what the hell you just said, I'm going to go with: three year old?

K said...

Wow--that is some diagnosis--very nice writing though, you've inspired me to become even busier...

lorie said...

C- these are the official diagnositic criteria for oppositional defiant disorder (with the addition of my own criteria in italics). they sounded a little too familiar as of late... your diagnosis is correct!

thanks K- glad i could make someone else busier!

amy said...

gotta love the DSM!!

moshpitmarsha said...

Why this is irritating, tattle taling can be really annoying. I used to work with 3 yr olds in a preschool and tattling was part of every day life.

Beth said...

Sadly, this sounds like my kids and even myself at times!

An absolute classic post, Lorie. Made both me and Tim hysterical!

Dean said...

Is anyone in your house in serious risk of "getting beaten?"

lorie said...

Depends on which moment you ask me!