Wednesday, October 05, 2005

reasoning skills

(subtitled: Why I Hate Shopping at Target)

“I wan’ dat one,” he proclaims, pointing at one of the two options presented. “You want Percy?” I reply, extending my arm to offer him the one to which he pointed. Seemed like a logical course of action. Except that I’m not two-and-a-half.

“No! Don’ wan’ dat one! Don’ wan’ dat one! I wan’ dat one!” He points to an item on the rack. Reiterating his options, I place Percy and Toby in front of him again. “You can’t have that one, it’s too expensive. You can have Toby or Percy. Which one do you want?” Again the shelf. And again. I round the corner, hoping in my cute little naive way that removing the distractions will make the process easier.

“I wan’ Percy,” he states. Greatly relieved, I hand him the package. “NO! NO! NO! Don’ wan’ Percy!! Don’ wan’ Percy!!” His whiney voice is to my head as his kicking legs are to my stomach, flailing back and forth out of the shopping cart hitting the soft, tender flesh around my incision. So as to not completely lose it in a public forum, I push him another six inches out of range and hold the packages up again, tension growing and hope waning. I force a saccharine smile. “Which one, buddy?”

“I wan’ daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat one,” he whines, pointing back at the aisle, four feet away. An idea strikes me and I retreat, though not giving in, and find a third option within the same price range. Rookie mistake. Except I’m no longer a rookie. “No! Don’ wan’ dat one! Don’ wan’ dat one! I wan’ daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat one!” Toby, this time. And yet when offered to him, the response is the same, save the addition of tears.

There is no way out of this. If I put them all down and leave, we have a scene and I have wasted over an hour of torturous decision-making and bargain-finding. If I force a decision, or make one for him, we have a scene. If I stand here and faint from hunger while waiting for him to decide, we have a scene. No one wins. What seemed like a sweet way to bless my son has now turned ugly and I’m about to bless him right upside the head.

There are three important blunders we should never fall prey to: 1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia, 2. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line, and 3. Never, and I mean NEVER, take a hungry child to Target.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15


danthress said...

ok, time to fess up. i don't read your posts with the tiny point size, but i do read the one's with the normal size. either this makes me old and hard-of-seeing, or i'm just difficult.

lorie said...

Thanks for the feedback- the "tiny" ones I do in word using the word for blogger and forget to change the font size. Sorry!

Victoria Mine said...

Just stopping in...this one made my stomache knot as I have experienced this same thing!!!! My most recent was while taking all three with their "chore money" which is never enough for what they really want. Mine are no longer two and its not always this bad, but I know the hunger/tired factor always plays in when it turns into a trip I would have rather not taken!
Blessings, I enjoy your writings...

lorie said...

Thanks, Gina Marie! Glad to know I'm not alone!