Tuesday, January 27, 2009

top ten reasons why i need chocolate chip cookies

1. I just spent thirty minutes reading and talking with my daughter about puberty. I had to say words like "breast buds" and "pubic hair" and keep a straight face.

2. I was going to do yoga tonight. I have a sinus infection instead. Which means I have a headache, as well. I am not down with doing "down dog" with a headache. And no, that is not a double entendre.

3. I didn't work out yesterday, either, because of the same infection/headache. I've gained seven pounds since Thanksgiving, when I took a month off from working out because of my knee.

4. I've gained seven pounds.

5. I've gained seven pounds.

6. I'm still stuck in the imbecilic "eating chocolate chip cookies will make me feel better about gaining seven pounds" frame of mind. And nothing will convince me otherwise. Until, of course, about five minutes after I've eaten the cookies. And then I will be morose. For days. As I sit on the couch...

7. I drove home in the snow. During rush hour. With a couple hundred people who apparently have never seen snow before in their lives despite the fact they LIVE IN THE MIDWEST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Say no more.

8. I'm fried. Overwhelmed. Burned out. Kaput. Maxed. At my limit. Over the top. On my last nerve. I want to run away. Far away. For, oh, about a week. Or a year. Or ten. (Cookies would be much less traumatic for my family--can we all agree with my rationalization?)

9. Did I mention I've gained seven pounds?

10. Sometimes, you just NEED chocolate chip cookies. "It's a need, it's a true need, it's a straight-up-undeniable-ain't-no-mistaking-it-for-somethin'-else need..." (Thank you, Charlie Peacock. Of course, he was talking about forgiveness... But let's not quibble.)

I'm off to preheat the oven. See you tomorrow, when I complain that I've gained eight pounds...

4 comments:

Lisa Biggs Crum said...

I'm thinkin' the pull of gravity has increased - I couldn't possibly have gained as much weight as my scales show. So, if the pull of gravity has somehow increased it is important that we eat more chocolate chip cookies to keep from having our bodies collapse or something.

Anonymous said...

I blame global warming for both the cookie craving and the proposed gravity change... it's obviously not affecting the climate since we're using another snow day and we may have one tomorrow ;-)
KP

Cindy said...

How are those hips..er..I mean..cookies treating you now?

lorie said...

I didn't have them--am on a fast from sweets, actually. But MAN did I really want some last night!!!