Monday, January 09, 2006

all you can eat

Another one of those nights when brilliance is eluding me…

My stomach growls, protesting the advice from the aerobic instructor to not eat anything after seven PM. I am hungry—literally and figuratively—but I do not know what for. I’m two feet over the line called Complacency, being pulled in both directions by forces unseen. The desire for comfort and ease grips with arrogance and quiet might while the desire to be more yanks and gasps like a small dog at the end of a short, sturdy leash. My will remains largely unmoved.

Can I really do this? The plate in front of me is full, already. But I am a compulsive eater at the World’s Biggest Potluck and there is more to be tasted in this life. Motherhood. Career. Marriage. Writing. Music. Leadership. Photography. Travel. Service. Friendship. I am torn—my life at this time cannot contain it all.

I suck on a zinc lozenge—surely ten calories will not tip the scale. Perspective is key: is my life sucking on zinc lozenges when what I really want is fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies or is this the beginning evidence of long sought after discipline?

Perspective is realizing I want to be thin and healthy more than I want chocolate chip cookies.

Perspective is realizing the time to write is coming.

Perspective is learning portion control.


3 comments:

Shaun Barber said...

I totaly feel this. To do anything justice you have to be dispiclined.
So many things to choose from, or knowing what not to choose. I am also having writers block these days. I feel like all my greatest poems are behind me. I feel like I got the sophomore jinks.

Sam said...

Yes dicipline is not always fun. But the pay off is excellent.
Dicipline to me is working out even when I don't feel like it and feeling better in the end, knowing I did the right thing.
I Hope your writing is blessed abundantly and you have a massive out pouring of creative ideas.
I realized that in all of the rush of life I had forgotten to dream.

peace.

lorie said...

Discipline and balance- both seem to allude me!