Tuesday, January 31, 2006

feedback

There is an unnerving stirring in my stomach as retrieve my items from the printer.  This sudden swell of emotion catches me off guard—it is just a note from her teacher, I remind myself.  You asked for her feedback, you idiot.  What are you so concerned about?

The problem is this—I know exactly what I’m concerned about.  And despite my best efforts or intentions, it scares me—fear that threatens to squeeze out my eyes and drip down my cheeks in the middle of the workroom on Tuesday at quitting time.  Fear for my daughter in all of her glorious, God-made spiritedness—Lord, you created her spirit.  Protect her.  I beg you—do not allow her to be crushed.

I take a deep breath and begin reading, knowing I will only find love and concern, but fearing her words, nonetheless.  It is one thing to know your child’s struggles.  It is another, entirely, to have them be known.  And there it is, all written down in black and white—her teacher knows her.  Her perfectionism, her insecurity, her inattention, her sensitivity.  I am at once both grieved and relieved.  I am not the only one who sees it—this is both a good thing and a difficult thing.

Packing the letter up with my things, I exhale again and make my way home amid the traffic jam of thoughts honking and blaring in my head.  We are on the same page, I remind myself.  This is a good thing.  This is a good thing.  

This is a good thing…

4 comments:

Julie Morrison said...

Oh yes, when we realize our little angels are real in the world and can be seen in all their glory or lack there of. The teacher is not ever going to be her mother, and while she might know some of what's best, she doesn't have your daughters heart--you do. The teacher is not charged by our Lord to train a child in the way that she should go, you are. And because of this, God holds you and her. Your life, hers and her future. He directs her. But he can use others to show us areas that need work or encourage them where we may miss. Just keep the salt handy.Remember, take what they say pray about it and take what is useful and throw the rest away. Also,You are allowed to disagree.

lorie said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Julie! Fortunately, she and I are seeing eye to eye and are working together well. I know this may not always be the case and that I will have to be an even stronger advocate at some point, but for now this teacher and I are very much a team, and I am very grateful!

Neil said...

As long as you and the teacher are on the same page, I wouldn't worry so much. Most teachers are trying to do their best for your children.

lorie said...

Thank you, Neil. I agree--her teacher very much wants to help her. I just get that Mom-Worry thing going sometimes... (:))